I have thought about my post for this week. To be honest, I didn't know what to write. This is very controversial to my character because every week I always have something planned to write and talk about. But honestly, this week I have been a discouraged writer. I haven't hit this point in my writing journey in a long time so I know the positivism, the spark, it will come again. Every time I crash and hit the lowest pit, I have hope the light will come again and I will find the joy in my craft. I will find the enthusiasm I had a week ago and I will find the excitement and passion that fills my writing.
I haven't yet discovered what really takes away my passion in writing. It doesn't make any sense at all. Maybe exhaustion? Because there are the days and weeks and even months where I know I'm doing the right thing. I write. So obviously, I'm a writer. But what does it actually mean to say I'm writer. Does that mean I am cooped up in my room, left out of this world, and placed in my own world with my own characters? Partially true. But that statement can scare new writers. It scared me. When I discovered my love for writing I was scared. I didn't want to do it alone and be alone and be looked upon as a psycho. Let's face it, when we think of writers, we think of those people who wear shabby clothes, shower once a week, isolate themselves from society, and have weird philosophies about the world and universe being one with our mind. But when I refer to myself as a writer, I don't refer to myself as living the writer life. I hone the craft, but the craft doesn't hone me. If that makes any sense learn from it.
But as for this week I have been a discouraged writer. I am working on a novel right now and sometimes I feel as if I'm going nowhere with what I'm doing. I have hit a block in the road so many times this week and if I hit another block, I don't know if I'll have the strength to climb over it. I usually don't express my feelings when it comes to my work and yes, writing is my job, but I figured anyone can learn and even relate to this. We have our bad days and our bad weeks. They will come with such power, trying to knock us down and make us look ridiculous, as if we can't conquer anything. Perhaps our characters are confused and they aren't working for us. Or the setting sounds unrealistic and an incident that just happened sounds impossible. But it's your work, your writing and no one has the right to tear you down. Kind criticism, the type that will grow you is acceptable, but the one that rips you apart and makes you feel worthless, I command you to throw it out. If you truly believe writing is your passion, the one thing you drive on, then go for it and fight against those crummy days or weeks. They will come. I've had mine this week.
I woke up one morning this past week and one of the first thoughts entering my mind was, "I'm not made for this. I will never publish. I have been rejected and it's too hard." Those few words tore me down for the rest of my day and even now it's hard to get out and believe otherwise. But last night, I had an epiphany, I guess you can say. Who am I writing for? Audience. People besides myself. People beyond my family. People apart from my friends and those in my area. But if I don't start with the immediate circle my feelers won't be tested. I need to test my writing in the water I'm comfortable with and then go out and beyond. It starts in steps. The first step is to know you want to write. Second step you must write. And third step, you must write no matter what comes your way.
So for the remaining of this week and next week, who cares what the enemies of your craft say. It doesn't matter. And when you're having a down day with writing, be encouraged, brighter days come right after the dark ones.